


The Copulation Manipulation

by Jenni_Snake



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, Humor, Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-13
Updated: 2011-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-24 14:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenni_Snake/pseuds/Jenni_Snake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A reluctant Penny plays coach for her friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Copulation Manipulation

**Author's Note:**

> written for the BBT Kink Meme

"Hello, bestie!"

"Amy? Oh, sorry, hold on a sec, I've got a call on the other line."

"Penny, this is Sheldon Cooper, your neighbour from across the hall."

"Sheldon, I know who you are! One second, I've got a call on the other line. Why don't you just come over?"

"I don't believe that is an option at this time..."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

"Hello, Penny."

"Uh, yeah, what is it, Amy?"

"You might want to be sitting down when I tell you this."

"I am sitting down."

"Oh good. As far-fetched as it may sound, I believe that I am in the throes of passion. Neurobiologically speaking, I am at least very certain that all of my pleasure centres are illuminated. It's fascinating!"

"Fascinating? What? Wait! Are you having sex hooked up to electrodes?!"

"Well..."

"Wait!! Are you having sex and calling me on the phone?!?"

"No, don't hang up! I'm not exactly... well... um... I believe that I am engaged in coitus over an online chat system."

"..."

"Penny?"

"Hold on. ... Sheldon!"

"Yes, Penny?"

"Are you having cyber sex with Amy???"

"... No. Now, hypothetically, if one were engaged in such an activity..."

"No way!"

"Hello again, bestie. It would be propitious if you could perhaps focus your attention, as I'm not sure how long it will be before the endorphins wear off. Now... what do I do?"

"I don't know! How did you get this far?"

"There was some virtual kissing and heavy petting, and we are currently in a virtual state of undress."

"That was WAY more than I needed to know. Um, okay... Try... tugging... Um, yeah... that sounds like it's working... Be right back. ... Sheldon, could you please keep it down, I can hear you across the hallway. ... Okay, Amy, um, if that worked, try - oh my God I can't believe I'm doing this - um, you know... uh... have you ever seen those metal balls they sell in Chinatown that you rotate in your hands? Yeah... take it from there. ... Shel- Sheldon! Pay attention! You should... I mean, hypothetically, what you could do would be to sort of... you know... squeeze... in the... chestal... region..."

"Ohhhh!"

"Good to know, Amy. Amy? ... Okay... sounds like neither of you need my help anymore... I think I need to go take a shower. Rinse my brain out. Bye. ... Bye, Sheldon."

"Mmrmph."

\---


End file.
